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Santa’s Retirement

The Retirement ( loooong overdue )

of Santa,

one of the richest guys in the world.

 

Where Santa  just sits by the fire

And warms his toes

With Ms. Claus

And reads  his story,

 

And tells all his little green friends

They are free

To go home,

Back to Nature,

 

And watches all his investments

And all his money.

That’s right

He   got  payed.  A LOT.

 

But wait,

Since he’s not doing the Christmas thing …

Well of course,   he has decided to

NOT invest in the business of Christmas presents

Anymore.

That stock is about to take a big fall.

 

And since he always did have

The insider information

All about   what’s hot for Christmas this year,

2

 

He’ll probably make a sock full,  a big stocking full

of money

even though he’s letting the business go.

 

In any case,   now

What to do with all

The PROFITS ?

 

All he knows

Is toys.

 

First

He asks

Are all the good boys and girls

doing ok?

 

Well, no.  He already knows that.

It’s very obvious from

The news.

 

He decides  to do something

To help.

 

Should he buy them all

Presents ?!

“Woah.”,   says Ms. Claus.

And Santa shakes his head

3

 

In disbelief  of  himself.

 

“Sorry.”  He says,

And he starts to laugh at himself.

And he really gets going here.

His HO HO HO

Turns onto a HAW HAW HAW.

One would think

He’s lost it

Or think that he’s drunk

Or   that he’s puffed too many bowls

From his

Good old pipe.

 

He looks at Ms. Claus.

‘Think.”    She says.

 

“What are they asking for?” …

 

A good paying job.  I think they would like that.

And lots of options.

And high tech solutions

To cover or help with

The hard

Not so pleasant jobs.

 

And not so many rules.

 

 

4

 

And of course …

A good clear

New    something

To ease

The climate

Dilemma.

 

Santa looks into the fire

And takes a deep breath

And puffs on his pipe …

And thinks.

 

And Ms. Claus   smiles to herself.

 

Eventually

Santa   nods off.

 

In his dreams

He is visited

By an Angel.

 

He opens his eyes,

The fire has almost completely gone out.

Just a tiny glow is left.

He is all alone

5

 

In the dark.

… and it’s a little bit cold.

He pulls a blanket over himself.

 

And then he notices

Stuff falling from the chimney.

Then

A little green lizard  dropped into sight.

He had rainbow dreadlocks

And a suit case.

He was very

Suave.

He looked at Santa

And then raised his right hand,

And gently

Angel floated down

Into sight

Holding the little lizard’s hand.

“Angel NicGillicuddy,

I present to you

Santa   Claus.”

She looked at him  with cool calm eyes.

 

The lizard put his suitcase down

Opened it up

And pulled out a document

Rolled up

6

 

With a ribbon

And even a decorative bow.

Sort of like

A Christmas present.

 

Angel said nothing. She just looked

At Santa

Calmly.  Cool.   With a slight smile.

 

“It’s   The Settlement.”    Said the lizard.

 

Santa unrolled it.

He put his little specs on

And started to read.

“Oh.”   He said softly to himself.

 

He put the document down

And took a deep breath.

Then he took a couple of puffs.

 

He picked up the document again

And finished reading it.

 

When he finished

He looked up

And Angel

And the lizard

7

 

Had disappeared.

 

“I know what to do.”    Santa said to himself.

 

He noticed that there was something

In his Christmas stocking

Which had been hanging on the mantle

For many many years

Just for decoration.

 

He reached inside the stocking

And pulled out

The surprise.

It was a book

Very very old looking

But in perfect shape.

It was a deep red the color of blood

And on the cover,    in golden letters was written

ShiBboLeTh

A Tale of Two Secret Passwords

And Money.

The end

For now.

 

In the next excerpt:

The Story

Of The Last Christmas Tree for Sale.

8

 

PS

If you ask me

Santa

Looks A LOT

Like President Trump

With a long curly white beard

And long white hair

And a BIG smile.

 

PSS

In another excerpt

Angel and her friends

Sit around   The Big Crystal Eye Ball

And imagine

And conjure

Other ways

Of celebrating

The season.

Without leaving ANYBODY out of course.

 

Yours Truly

At Your Service

Angel NicGillicuddy

 

The Hard Copy has been sent to President Trump.

 

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